Making Gains

Hello? Is anyone there? It's me, Stephanie. You know, the girl who abandoned this poor blog? Anywho, lets get down to the nitty gritty. A lot has happened in the unintentional hiatus I have taken.

First, I lost 40 lbs and felt on top of the world. I had my eating habits under control (I won't say diet because I despise that word). I was hitting the gym at least 5 times a week and making great progress. Why am I referring to these accomplishments in the past tense? Well, lets see....I fell off the wagon HARD. When I say hard, I am not fooling around. I gained back 30 of the 40 lbs I lost, ate everything in sight, and didn't make time for the gym. 

Don't get me wrong, during this time I gained more than just weight. 

I've gained an incredible man who I love more than I ever thought possible. I'm sure everyone has heard that saying, "when you stop looking, that's the moment you will find someone." I also believed this was some cheesy bullshit people were feeding me to make me feel better. I can now say I truly believe in this as cheesy as it may be. Elan stumbled into my life when I least expected him to. I had given up on boys (and I saw 'boys' because that's exactly what they were) and was enjoying the journey of focusing on myself. After the first date with Elan, I knew he was different than all the rest. We spent our first date eating bagels and sipping Starbucks on the patio. I was able to talk with him about everything under the sun and it felt so natural.

Whether you know me in real life our through the wonderful world of Instagram, you've seen our relationship develop over the months into something I never could of dreamed of. You're probably all saying "Yuck! all this mushy stuff makes me want to hurl!" If you really know me, this mushiness should come as no surprise. To the few who really know Elan, you will know that he is a much bigger sap than I am. If you cannot handle this lovey dovey business, you should probably stop reading... I hope I didn't lose too many of you.

On March 7th, 2014, I gained something very sparkly.

On Lover's Lane in the middle of the Kansas State University campus, Elan got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. As you can see, I cried my eyes out and asked if this was real life. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect proposal. First of all, I was caught completely off guard and he was almost certain i knew something was up. Secondly, Kansas State holds a very special place in my heart and it meant so much that he took the time and effort to plan such a special proposal (even had one of my very best friends involved, Hello Fitz!).

So here I am, preparing for quite possibly the biggest day of my life. I've had a 'coming to Jesus' moment with my relationship fluff and it's got to go. What is relationship fluff you might ask? It's not as pleasant as it sounds. Relationship fluff is that extra weight (or fluff) one may gain during the oh so new and wonderful first stages of a relationship. Seriously, who wants to eat carrots when you can order pizza and have a Netflix marathon with your new boo. The gym will make you feel good afterwards, however it doesn't compete with a cuddle session on Saturday morning. I know that I do not stand alone on this. 

Anyone who has been on this emotional rollercoaster that is also known as weight loss, can vouch for me when I say it's hard to jump back into the cart when you've been out of it. I have tried over and over again to get back to where I once was but couldn't keep it up for more than a week or two. My biggest problem, is accountability. If a skip a weigh-in no one knows but me, if I ditch the gym to spend my night on Pinterest my mind thinks that's an acceptable excuse, and I have to eat those two donuts my boss brought in for breakfast and worry about the consequences later. This lack of accountability is the reason I am not seeing results and in return throw in the towel. Six weeks ago, I joined Weight Watchers, and I am happy to report that I am down 11.2 lbs (yes, that .2 is important). Whether you agree with the program or not is your opinion. I know that at this point in my weight loss journey, this is what I need. I am feeling good, I am excited to back on track, and I hope to enjoy all the ups and deal with the downs of this journey. 

-Stephanie

To the Sweat Drop Down My...

Back, chest, arms, armpits, you name it and it’s sweaty. Anyone who has ever worked out with me knows that I sweat like nobody’s business! The most frustrating place I sweat, my forehead. Yes, you read that right, my forehead. Have you ever gotten sweat in your eyes? Burn baby burn!

Nothing is more aggravating than being in downward dog and having a face full of sweat. Well, there are other things that aggravate me but we aren’t going to get into that. I am that “sweaty girl” in yoga, the one constantly breaking pose to wipe down my face. I had come to the sad conclusion that I was just going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life. Nothing could solve my problem. (My mother is always telling me how dramatic I am)

Things were about to take a turn for the better…

One day on Instagram, I saw a girl with a headband that said, “I’m kind of a big deal.” I had to find out where she got this little gem. I had just told my mom the week before that I wanted cute headbands with screen printed sayings on them. This lovely lady informed me she was sporting a Bondi Band. I checked out their website, and when I saw one that said, “Shut up and squat” I knew it was meant to be. I ordered two and anxiously awaited their arrival. The day I received them I threw one on and headed to the gym immediately. It was like the sun was shining after 3 years of darkness, puppies were frolicking, and a delicious calorie free pizza had been invented. Ok, well maybe not that extreme but it was pretty damn exciting.

Bondi Bands are Lycra sweat wicking headbands. They keep your hair and sweat out of your face while you’re trying to get your fitness on; they also cover up dirty/bad hair days. These fabulous bands come in an array of funky patterns, colors, and sayings. Not only are these headbands adorable, are you ready for this? *Drumroll* THEY STAY PUT!!!!! These babies do not require re-adjusting; they do not slip off of that sweaty head of yours. When I tell people that I am obsessed with them they laugh, this is no laughing matter. I am seriously obsessed, I now own 7 of them and you best believe I will be buying more. I am not joking when I say these will completely change the way you work out. Take my word for it, they are fabulous! Ladies, go get you some at www.bondiband.com

Hope everyone is having a great week and working hard to better themselves mentally and physically. I would also like to thank my girl, Kelsey for suggesting I review the products I use.
-Stephanie

Where Did These Pounds Come From?

I should’ve seen it coming; but it still felt like a slap in the face. How in the world did I gain 58 lbs in 6 years? How did I not notice? I saw that number on the scale increase every time I stepped on it. I guess my eyes just hadn’t caught up to reflect that number in the mirror.

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with my weight. As a child, I was bigger than the others both in height and weight. However, when all the other kids went through growth spurts, my height stayed the same and I grew in width. Growing up, I had a poor body image and in return caused me to eat my feelings (this is a whole other story, which I will have to save for another day).  Kids can be mean, and I remember a few instances where I was taunted because I was the “chunky” girl. As I got older, I was accepted more for who I was than what the scale said.

Honestly, I can’t even tell you what I weighed in high school. Part of me believes this is because I didn’t really want to know, I didn’t want to face it. I also cannot count how many times I said, “This is it, I’m going to eat better, I’m going to change…” There was the time; I was vegetarian for a while. There was also the time I tried the South Beach Diet and failed miserably.

In August of 2006, I left the good old state of Nebraska to attend Kansas State University. Unlike, most freshmen, I did not gain the infamous Freshman 15. I actually lost about 12 lbs. This is not because I was making conscious food choices. Believe me; I ate just like everyone else. I drank soda every day, ate more than my share of Pizza Shuttle at 2 A.M., and had dessert every night with dinner. When I returned to school after Christmas break, I became very ill. I was extremely nauseous, to the point of dry heaving every time I ate. If I was able to force feed myself, it came back up within hours.  After months of suffering and weeks of eating nothing but rice cakes and PB&J sandwiches, I was diagnosed with Acid Reflux.  Right after, I came down with an upper respiratory infection. I remember coming home for the weekend and my mom saying, “You’ve lost so much weight, you look sickly.” In reality, I was still overweight but I had lost weight in a very unhealthy way.

In March of 2007, I began a very serious relationship with someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. As with any relationship, you settle in and become “comfortable”. I remained in this relationship for over three years, and I packed on 36 lbs.  Towards the end of the relationship, I began to put a focus on my health. I began following the Weight Watchers program and was seeing results. The breakup was far from pretty and put me in a pretty low place. I remember my mom standing in the doorway of my bedroom saying, “Stephanie, I know this is hard. You can’t let this consume you. Get out of bed and stop this pity party.” Those may seem like simple words to anyone else, but they were exactly what I needed to hear.  For this, and many other reasons I am forever grateful to my mother. I joined a gym and continued to eat healthy. I lost about 20 lbs. As you may know, sometimes losing weight isn’t the hardest part, it’s keeping it off.

I began going out 2-3 times a week and drinking like a fish. This led to late night runs to McDonalds, Taco Bell, etc.  These unhealthy choices caught up with me, I eventually put back on those 20 lbs and then some. At the time, I never really noticed the weight. Yeah, I couldn’t fit into some of my clothes and my current clothes were a bit tight. I was disappointed in myself and disgusted when I looked in the mirror. This was followed by many failed attempts of trying to make healthy decisions and changing my life.

When it comes to weight loss, most people have a huge “A-HA!” moment.  This was not the case for me. It actually sounds a bit silly now that I think about it. I went to lunch at Hy-Vee and had their unlimited salad bar. I remember eating the biggest salad and tons of fruit for “dessert” (if you can even call it that).  I went back to work feeling satisfied, I did not get that mid afternoon hunger bug and didn’t eat any snacks. From day one, it’s drilled into your head about how important it is to eat healthy and how it does wonders for your body. I knew this all along, just had never experienced it until that day. In a way, I was surprised about how good I felt after that meal. The next day, I went back and had the same thing, the rest is history.

I embarked on this crazy journey December 10^th, 2012 and I have not looked back. Sure, I’ve stumbled along the way. I’ve had my incredible highs and defeating lows, yet I’ve still managed to pick myself up and push through. I would be lying if I told you this isn’t the most emotional ride I’ve ever been on.  If you would’ve told me back in December that I would be down 34.8 lbs and learning to love myself, I would’ve laughed in your face. I feel that in 4 short months, I am a completely different person. I am the happiest I have ever been, I feel fantastic, and I now know I have a purpose in life. I’ve learned so much about myself and continue to do so every day. I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for, I am capable of anything I set my mind to, and I have the most amazing support system anyone could ever ask for.

I am so excited for what the future holds.

-Stephanie