Sunday, April 27, 2014

Making Gains

Hello? Is anyone there? It's me, Stephanie. You know, the girl who abandoned this poor blog? Anywho, lets get down to the nitty gritty. A lot has happened in the unintentional hiatus I have taken.

First, I lost 40 lbs and felt on top of the world. I had my eating habits under control (I won't say diet because I despise that word). I was hitting the gym at least 5 times a week and making great progress. Why am I referring to these accomplishments in the past tense? Well, lets see....I fell off the wagon HARD. When I say hard, I am not fooling around. I gained back 30 of the 40 lbs I lost, ate everything in sight, and didn't make time for the gym. 

Don't get me wrong, during this time I gained more than just weight. 

I've gained an incredible man who I love more than I ever thought possible. I'm sure everyone has heard that saying, "when you stop looking, that's the moment you will find someone." I also believed this was some cheesy bullshit people were feeding me to make me feel better. I can now say I truly believe in this as cheesy as it may be. Elan stumbled into my life when I least expected him to. I had given up on boys (and I saw 'boys' because that's exactly what they were) and was enjoying the journey of focusing on myself. After the first date with Elan, I knew he was different than all the rest. We spent our first date eating bagels and sipping Starbucks on the patio. I was able to talk with him about everything under the sun and it felt so natural.

Whether you know me in real life our through the wonderful world of Instagram, you've seen our relationship develop over the months into something I never could of dreamed of. You're probably all saying "Yuck! all this mushy stuff makes me want to hurl!" If you really know me, this mushiness should come as no surprise. To the few who really know Elan, you will know that he is a much bigger sap than I am. If you cannot handle this lovey dovey business, you should probably stop reading... I hope I didn't lose too many of you.

On March 7th, 2014, I gained something very sparkly.

On Lover's Lane in the middle of the Kansas State University campus, Elan got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. As you can see, I cried my eyes out and asked if this was real life. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect proposal. First of all, I was caught completely off guard and he was almost certain i knew something was up. Secondly, Kansas State holds a very special place in my heart and it meant so much that he took the time and effort to plan such a special proposal (even had one of my very best friends involved, Hello Fitz!).

So here I am, preparing for quite possibly the biggest day of my life. I've had a 'coming to Jesus' moment with my relationship fluff and it's got to go. What is relationship fluff you might ask? It's not as pleasant as it sounds. Relationship fluff is that extra weight (or fluff) one may gain during the oh so new and wonderful first stages of a relationship. Seriously, who wants to eat carrots when you can order pizza and have a Netflix marathon with your new boo. The gym will make you feel good afterwards, however it doesn't compete with a cuddle session on Saturday morning. I know that I do not stand alone on this. 

Anyone who has been on this emotional rollercoaster that is also known as weight loss, can vouch for me when I say it's hard to jump back into the cart when you've been out of it. I have tried over and over again to get back to where I once was but couldn't keep it up for more than a week or two. My biggest problem, is accountability. If a skip a weigh-in no one knows but me, if I ditch the gym to spend my night on Pinterest my mind thinks that's an acceptable excuse, and I have to eat those two donuts my boss brought in for breakfast and worry about the consequences later. This lack of accountability is the reason I am not seeing results and in return throw in the towel. Six weeks ago, I joined Weight Watchers, and I am happy to report that I am down 11.2 lbs (yes, that .2 is important). Whether you agree with the program or not is your opinion. I know that at this point in my weight loss journey, this is what I need. I am feeling good, I am excited to back on track, and I hope to enjoy all the ups and deal with the downs of this journey. 


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